Are old, unhealed inner wounds hurting or devastating you?

I spoke the word “wounded” in conversation with a friend, and instantly her eyes teared up. Just the word brought up pain. Are old, unhealed inner wounds hurting or devastating you? Do you even know that they are?

My parents divorced right before I turned 5. My dad had nothing to do with me from age 5 to age 12; after that, I stayed with him once for a week. The next contact came at my wedding when he walked me down the aisle. (Why did I ask him?!)

Did you know that God made us all with certain longings? Yes, we all long for safety, worth, uniqueness, love, nurture, appreciation, and God Himself.

But, living in this imperfect world, we experience hurts, trauma, pain, and abuse. Even minor hurts can lead to coping mechanisms to try to get our needs met.

I got nothing but a wound

For the last 3 months, I’ve been finding out just how hurt we all are and how we unknowingly believe and live out damaging lies. Our hearts are wounded; our longings are not met! We need healing. AND it’s available. Let me tell you some of my story.

My dad died 10 years ago. I visited him in the hospital a couple of times. Through my aunt, I sent a note asking him for something as a keepsake. Perhaps a handwritten note or even just a sentence…no response. I got nothing.

Up to age 14, I felt invisible, unimportant. (After that, it even got worse.)

Did my dad reach out to me physically or emotionally? No. Did I feel I mattered to him? No. Was I loved, protected, cherished by him? No. Even though I didn’t put this label on it then, I was ABANDONED.

As a divorced mother with 4 children, my mom had to work outside the home. I was the oldest. I took care of everything and everybody while she was gone. This started at age 10. A different form, but ABANDONED. This is just one of my wounds, mind you. We all have many.

So many hurts

Push them down

We try to push down our thoughts and feelings about things like this, try to “just go on,” but feelings don’t just go away magically. Being abandoned hurts and therefore leaves a wound. Living life to its fullest is impossible when you’re wounded.

Physical injuries need help to heal well. Soap, water, medicine, protective coverings. Emotional wounds need help, too. Recognizing and admitting that we hurt is the start.

By God’s Grace, I’ve been led to an amazing healing group. It’s nothing like I’ve done before. It’s not counseling, it’s beyond counseling.

When we live in woundedness, we believe lies. These lies and distortions eventually lead to → emotional upheaval, which leads to → dysfunctional behavior, which leads to → a problematic life situation (or situations).

If you were abandoned, how would you feel? What would you be telling yourself?

Lies!

I don’t matter, I’m not important, I’m unlovable, etc. These ARE lies! But we believe them and, subsequently, change the way we think and live. With those lies running through your head constantly, strong emotions will develop.

IF you ignore or try to bury them, they likely will cause dysfunctional behavior(s), such as hiding your true self, “performing” for worth, people-pleasing, addictions of all kinds, and more. Basically, dysfunction is anything that interrupts/interferes with our relationship with God and others or harms us or others.

When this is going on, obviously there is going to be “life situations” that are not good.

Are you there? Know someone who is dealing (or not dealing!) with old, unhealed inner wounds? There is hope and help!

Hope is on the rise!

Free from inner-wound bondage

I mentioned above I’m in a group. **For 16 weeks, we experience 4 components: teaching, spiritual, experiential, and weekly assignments. We share what we’re learning/processing and our feelings, but don’t really tell our story.  The experientials are dynamic and different each week. I feel they’re what really make the difference.

The way it all works is a powerful breath of fresh air. I feel such hope and connection to Jesus and the Holy Spirit. With my permission and surrender, God is free to work and heal my wounds and meet my longings. Nothing hard or scary here. Jesus is gentle.

I’ve walked you through the process from wounds to life situations. (The painful part.) Now, let’s see the other side of it.

His mercies are new every morning

The good part

When we bring those old, unhealed inner wounds to light and ask the Holy Spirit to heal us, He meets us there, at the wound, and does just that!

So, instead of being wounded, we are healed, which leads to → truth and acceptance, which leads to → comfort and peace, which leads to → empowered living, which leads to → a new, better, and healthy life situation. This is freedom!!

Scream and cry

Needless to say, there’s a lot more to it, too much to go into here. But I want to least mention forgiveness. I discovered something that I never realized about forgiveness; it’s not instant even though you want it to be.

The key is to process your hurt–lament it! We’re emotional beings and if we want to be emotionally healthy, we have to recognize and “feel” those feelings. Scream, cry, swear, but get it all out. This was definitely new territory for me, but it felt good! When that is done, then, you’re ready to forgive.

On the cross, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” Even Jesus lamented before He forgave. He had spent the night before in Gethsemane praying to the Father about His anguish…to the point of sweating blood!

To summarize your choices:

• Wounds vs Healing
• Lies and distortions vs Truth and acceptance
• Emotional upheaval vs Comfort and peace
• Dysfunctional behavior vs Empowered living
• Bad-life situation vs Good-life situation
• Bondage vs Freedom!

Which do you choose? If any of this resonates with you or is causing your heart to beat out of your chest, contact me for more info or check out this website. All that I’m learning was written by Terry Wardle.

**As of this writing, I’ve completed 12 of the 16 weeks.  I’m looking forward to the last glorious weeks and to my old, unhealed inner wounds being no more!

Thanks for being here. ♥

Before I go, I want to share a Char update; he’s 16 months now!

I’m still watching him 3 full days per week. He’s such a little sweetie and so fun. Sure keeps me moving all day.

We go for daily walks and sometimes to the park, play in the water table, and peek through the fence to see the neighbor’s chickens.

We enjoy Veggie Tales and The Donut Man together as well as lots of music. He’s pure joy!

Until next time, many blessings and much joy to you!

Pam