I know a woman. She is a wife. She is a mother of grown children.

She stayed home to raise them; now continues to stay home as a homemaker.

She loves and cares for her children deeply. Prays for them A LOT. Is there for them, but not in their lives too much. I don’t know if she was a good mom when they were younger, but it looks like it from the outside looking in.

Her husband works long, hard hours.

One of her children recently got upset with her for stopping at said child and child’s spouse’s workplaces. The woman had never done this before and just wanted to say hi and see where they worked.

This child said she should have known that was not okay. Not only that, but this child said the woman is out of touch with reality and should get a job to relieve the stress on her husband.

She is my friend. I see the hurt and tension this has caused in her life. Those words wounded her. She cried.

She and her husband agree on their setup.

She has struggled often with the very decision of bringing in a regular income or being at home doing everything else a home needs and taking those kinds of burdens off her husband. Her husband really does work hard; 12-15 hours per day, I think. She would like to see his burden lightened. She tells me they discuss it often and, so far, he elects to keep it the way it is.

Do we cry because the words said are true… because that’s what we really think deep inside, too? If not, wouldn’t the words just roll off our backs?

Society is putting unseen pressure on her because it doesn’t agree that something other than money could be important. She says she feels guilty because maybe it looks to others that she won’t get a job and wants him to do all the work. She says she feels the implication from certain family members.

Is she out of touch with reality because she’s not out in the work world every day?? Or is she more in touch with reality, what’s really important?

I say this world is so caught up in money that it doesn’t value someone at home; thinks someone is lazy or “less than” if they don’t work “a real job.”

However, this woman is not lazy.  

Her home is tidied up daily; cleaned weekly. She does all the shopping, bills/budget, prepares the majority of their meals (her husband helps on weekends), handles any phone calls/appointments that need to be made, does all the laundry, keeps things in order, deals with her dog and all it entails, yard work, writes notes to encourage others, handles her mother’s finances, volunteers at her church, helps her neighbor with 3 small children, exercises daily, has a regular quiet time, cleans a few houses a month, checks on elderly neighbors, attends a weekly Bible study, and participates in clinical research several times a year to supplement income. There may be more; this is what I know of her.

She has chosen to be a homemaker and, thus, be available to help others. She takes to heart keeping a home, good stewardship, and serving others.

I would like to be more like her.  

This is obviously a different type of post for me.

I see two lessons here.

  1. We judge people too easily. We don’t know what they are going through.
  2.  Words can build up or tear down quickly and can never be taken back.

#1. This reminds me of a Sawyer Brown song, They Don’t Understand. Enough said. These words sum it up perfectly. Here is just one verse of the song:

A mother, riding on a city bus
Kids are yelling, kicking up a fuss
Everybody’s staring, not knowing
What she’s going through
Somebody said, “Don’t you even care
Do you let ’em do that everywhere?”
She slowly turned around, looked up and stared
She said, “Please forgive them
But they’ve been up all night
Their father struggled
But he finally lost his fight
He went to heaven in the middle of the night
So please forgive my children.”

#2. Haven’t we all said things we wish we hadn’t? If we could feel the remorse now that we’re probably going to feel later, maybe even years later, after those words are said, we might utter fewer hurtful things.

I pray we all stop and think before we speak.  The simple idea of “I don’t have to say everything I’m thinking” has helped me in recent years to keep my mouth shut more often. Whew! That’s hard, isn’t it?

My Bible footnotes say “every person you meet today is either a demolition site or a construction opportunity.”

“Your words will make a difference.”

“Will they be weapons for destruction or tools for construction?”  These words convicted me when my oldest child was a teenager.

Will your words be the cause of someone’s crying eyes?

I told this woman I would write this post to ask you your thoughts. It’s a tender subject. So, what do you think?

  • Do words hit us harder and make us cry when there’s some truth to them?
  • Does not working outside the home make a person out of touch with reality?

I know she would appreciate any feedback. Thanks for listening.

Exotic flower seen at botanical gardens

Next post, I will finish up with our San Diego adventure and Calie’s last event. Did she win? Come find out!  🙂

Be sure to leave a comment below on your thoughts. It would be helpful if you’d share this post, also. Thanks.

Until we meet again,

May there be blessings, blooms, and fewer tears for you!

Pam

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Black and Blue Salvia

Author: Pam

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